Life just keeps going.

October 30th and it feels like just yesterday that I was getting ready to start the new school year. It's been busy. Hectic and busy and tiring. I had to drop my clinical this term, which puts me behind in my nursing program. I won't finish now until march 2012. This is disappointing, only because now school will take longer, but it will be a lighter course load, and that will make a big difference.

I've been feeling kinda lost lately.

It's hard to describe exactly what I mean. I struggle. I go up and down emotionally and I struggle. Sometimes I think I'm crazy, other times I think I'm probably putting on a show but I can't stop things. I wish I could change things about myself. The way I act and react to things, people and situations. Even maybe learn to hold my tongue sometimes. But I don't.

I"m lost even as I write this. My brain can't seem to find a flow of something that I want to say. Maybe I need sleep, maybe another beer? No, sleep. I haven't been sleeping well lately anyways. I have had so much school stress and other life things that I don't know which was is up sometimes.

I know that life for me right now is boring. Uneventful and boring. I look forward to the day that I earn money instead of borrow, that I can travel instead of watch travel on tv. When I can see and experience in real life, and not just within the pages of a book. I want more, from myself, and from my life. But I don't know what that more is that I want. I do know it's like I have a hole and I can't seem to fill it back up.

I have no photos.

Funny, I went to summer camp for 2 weeks and for 1 of those weeks had a camera attached to me at all times, yet I come home with nothing! I had fun, it was busy but also refreshing. I made some new friends and connected with some old friends.

Now it's the end of August and tomorrow we're moving. I am excited about that. On friday we got our new furniture, 2 chairs that are very comfortable and there has been no bug sightings for 4 weeks now, so hopefully we're in the clear. We do have a new mattress coming to the new apartment on September 1st, so we still plan to be cautious and keep an eye out for bugs, just in case! And today we are doing some pre-packing cleaning and organizing. Re-drying boxes of clothes because when we brought them back we didn't realize there was still some bugs around, so for safety to make sure they didn't take up a new residence in our clothing, everything is getting the hot dry cycle for about 30 minutes.

We have banking to do, school loans to organize, books to buy and stuff to clean. Today and tomorrow will be busy, but it will all be worth it I'm sure.

And in just over a week, school starts again. I wouldn't mind having just one more week off, but alas I must go back to the grind and finish what I started. I went to church yesterday and the pastor talked about doing your work in whatever you do as though you Lord is your boss and it made me think about the effort that I put into school. Yes, I could just do what I have to do pass and get decent marks, or I could look at school as though I am doing this all for Jesus and put my effort into school as though my boss is my Lord, and good things could happen. I'm sure they will.

Hopefully this new thought will stick with me!

Anyways, laundry to do, places to go, people to see. It's all very busy over here!

Now to update on what's happened this summer!

Today is raining. It seems appropriate for my mood, a little blue, but only because I have to write an exam tomorrow for a computer usage course of which I have not studied enough for. I only need to get about a 50% to pass the course, but it would have been nice to only need 25% on the exam. Such is life!

I have done a lot this year, not only did I do school I also continued to dance and added Jazz to the ballet from the previous year. We had our recital in June and that was a great time.

This was my ballet recital costume.


I also ran a few races.  A memorable one was the Eco Adventure at Fort Whyte that I did with my brother and a couple friends.

This consisted of approximately 40 km of canoeing, running, biking, running, biking, orienteering and more biking. I believe we finish 2nd last, which I believe is better than last and  definitely better than did not finish!


I had adventures with my sister Sandi and her son Connor. He is so cute and as he gets older he is so much fun and provides me with tons of happiness.

 

Recently I took a day trip up to Camp and to Gimli for the Icelandic Festival. We saw sandcastles and went to the carnival too. It was a fun day.

 

Well that almost brings me up to the current date. I have a break which is going by fast. I am sad for summer ballet to be ending soon. I have really enjoyed dancing and look forward to classes in the fall. I am also getting excited to head out to camp. Summer camp will always have a special place in my heart so it is nice to get the opportunity to go out there for a few weeks and get some spiritual refreshing too. 

Summer Time.

And the living is definitely easy, at least right now. I just read over my last blog post and am pleased to report that I am doing about 99% better! I can't believe I got through all that happened.

Life continued and I worked on focusing on getting better. I did a lot of running, continued to see the naturopath and counsellor, danced a lot and tried to think positively. Through all this I was able to loose a little weight and gain a lot of perspective.

I also discovered that somewhere through all this sadness my husband and I picked up a bed bug that multiplied. Boo!! We had to clean all that up and got rid of our bed and couches. We not currently are still on an air mattress and are moving to a different unit in our apartment. I just don't want to stay here just in case, and besides that the new place has a nice large balcony and is facing the river on the 7th floor!

Now I've finished the 3rd term of nursing school and I can say now that I am half way done. I survived and passed all of my courses and right now am making up the science credit that I dropped in 2nd term. I am off for 6 weeks total and am on week 2 of my break already. It's going by fast! I"m keeping busy with summer ballet 4 nights a week that ends this week and I just got a month pass at hot yoga. I also will be going to camp next week and the week after to volunteer out there. So much to do on my holiday, how does anyone ever fit a job into their life!